On July 25, 2013 I said goodbye for the last time to my dad. Though it was the hardest thing that I have ever gone through, it was also the most restoring thing that I have ever gone through. Did I understand why The Lord took my dad? Not at all. I used to try and wrap my head around the fact that I will never have a father daughter dance at my wedding, or have him walk me down the aisle. Knowing that my future husband can't ask him for my hand in marriage and my kids will never meet him, and countless other things. But, in these (almost) two years God has showed me that it's not for me to wrap my head around. It's a time for trust and obedience.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6. In life we get a very minuscule picture of His plan. And by miniscule I mean looking at the little white spots on a mountain and not realizing that they're sheep until you get closer, and not being able to see their view until you have climbed that mountain and joined them. It took me close to two years to see this. I spent a period of time on a roller coaster of knowing that I should love God and also knowing that I was very angry with Him all at the same time. After a year of knowing that God loved me and not understanding why Someone who loved me would want me to be so hurt I felt peace. "Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation" Psalm 68:5. Just because I did not have a father here on earth does not mean that I do not have a Father. It actually means that I have the most amazing, the most loving and the most lovely Father that I could ever ask for! The Lord of all the world wanted me as a daughter; I was a princess who was more loved than Dianna. That simple realization took my life and spun it in the other direction, and from that day on my relationship with Christ had flourished. He was my Abba, Father and I was His daughter. He is always with me, His ears are always open to listen to me cry and His eyes are ready to see me smile at my own jokes. He cares and He loves me. "The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives. Though they stumble, they will never fall, For the Lord holds them by the hand" Psalm 37:23-24. Am I still sad? Yes. Do I miss my dad? Yes. But, I know that I am not alone and God has a plan. Thank you Lord for Your compassion and Your love.
Strong God - Desperation Band
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKI7gowAEqY
Philippians 4:11-13
"I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength."
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