To the Friends that Left, I'm Thankful
“Hold everything in your hands lightly, otherwise it hurts when God pries your fingers open.” ~Corrie Ten Boom
From middle school to high school I had the same basic friend group. The band kids. We went from 6th grade to 12th grade together, with the exception of some people that joined our group as the years went on. They were my best friends, there was no doubt about that. However towards the end of senior year we had a falling out (still to this day I don't know what happened, but that's okay). One day I went to school and they wouldn't talk to me, learning the day of my birthday that my best friend at the time was the "ring leader". She didn't wish me a happy birthday and we never talked after that. I ended senior year hating going to school, I ended senior year with one school friend, I ended senior year hated with no explanation as to why. I didn't understand why God would allow me to spend my last three months of school with hardly any friends when I didn't do anything. Well, at least not to my knowledge. I was confused, lost and broken.
I remember, a few months before the falling out, sitting at the lunch table with everyone. We spent the entire lunch period judging the people that would walk in, gossiping about our other "friends", and swearing every other word to get a point across. We were mean people, I'll be the first to admit it. But, I remember something clicking "This isn't right. We shouldn't be judging people when we don't know their stories or hurts." I felt sick because I didn't want to be that person anymore, but I didn't know how to not be that person. I was supposed to be a child of God, but if someone found out I was they wouldn't believe it. I didn't want to step away from the only friends that I have known for years even though I knew what God wanted me to do. I didn't want to seem "high and mighty" when they asked why.
God gave me an two options: your choice or mine. And being the stubborn person I am, I refused to let go of control, so He took it. And by it I mean everything I thought was so important. He gave me the choice to hold it with a closed hand or an open one. The kinda hard way or the painfully hard way.
Two years later I see why He took it away; because it was taking me away. I was a Christian but not a disciple. Matthew 28:19 says, "Go therefore and make disciples of all nations..." Notice how it doesn't say go and make Christians out of all nations. How can I make a disciple if I'm wasn't a disciple? That's like me teaching someone how to play piano without me ever doing anything except buying a piano. Twice a week I'd plug it in and turn it on, but I could never teach anyone anything except how to plug it in and turn it on.
God swept my friends out from under my feet so that I lost balance and had no one to lean on except Him. I had no control in the fall so I had to hand it over, and I thank God I did. When I let go of my control He gave me back more than I could have ever asked Him; just like in Job. God took everything from Job, but in the end of the book He gave everything back to Him and more. When I pressed into Him I was given an amazing group of believers to be a part of who helped me keep my eyes on Him. I was encouraged to be the clay that the Lord wanted me to be. He used these friends to help mold me into the person that I am today: an encourager, a prayer warrior, a disciple.
I thank the Lord for the pain of prying my hands open, because if I stayed where I was most comfortable I wouldn't have friends that fill me spiritually. I wouldn't be at Harvest. I wouldn't be a youth leader. I wouldn't be a camp counselor next summer. I wouldn't be majoring in Youth Ministry. I wouldn't be where HE wants me. I wouldn't be on fire for His presence.
You are for Me - Kari Jobe
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6d9Lkgy-Nkc
Job 1:21
"Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I will depart. The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised."
I remember, a few months before the falling out, sitting at the lunch table with everyone. We spent the entire lunch period judging the people that would walk in, gossiping about our other "friends", and swearing every other word to get a point across. We were mean people, I'll be the first to admit it. But, I remember something clicking "This isn't right. We shouldn't be judging people when we don't know their stories or hurts." I felt sick because I didn't want to be that person anymore, but I didn't know how to not be that person. I was supposed to be a child of God, but if someone found out I was they wouldn't believe it. I didn't want to step away from the only friends that I have known for years even though I knew what God wanted me to do. I didn't want to seem "high and mighty" when they asked why.
God gave me an two options: your choice or mine. And being the stubborn person I am, I refused to let go of control, so He took it. And by it I mean everything I thought was so important. He gave me the choice to hold it with a closed hand or an open one. The kinda hard way or the painfully hard way.
Two years later I see why He took it away; because it was taking me away. I was a Christian but not a disciple. Matthew 28:19 says, "Go therefore and make disciples of all nations..." Notice how it doesn't say go and make Christians out of all nations. How can I make a disciple if I'm wasn't a disciple? That's like me teaching someone how to play piano without me ever doing anything except buying a piano. Twice a week I'd plug it in and turn it on, but I could never teach anyone anything except how to plug it in and turn it on.
God swept my friends out from under my feet so that I lost balance and had no one to lean on except Him. I had no control in the fall so I had to hand it over, and I thank God I did. When I let go of my control He gave me back more than I could have ever asked Him; just like in Job. God took everything from Job, but in the end of the book He gave everything back to Him and more. When I pressed into Him I was given an amazing group of believers to be a part of who helped me keep my eyes on Him. I was encouraged to be the clay that the Lord wanted me to be. He used these friends to help mold me into the person that I am today: an encourager, a prayer warrior, a disciple.
I thank the Lord for the pain of prying my hands open, because if I stayed where I was most comfortable I wouldn't have friends that fill me spiritually. I wouldn't be at Harvest. I wouldn't be a youth leader. I wouldn't be a camp counselor next summer. I wouldn't be majoring in Youth Ministry. I wouldn't be where HE wants me. I wouldn't be on fire for His presence.
{But my God intervened and said, "No, I have better"}
You are for Me - Kari Jobe
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6d9Lkgy-Nkc
Job 1:21
"Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I will depart. The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised."
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