To the Parent who Hurt me, but Didn't Mean To

Notice how I said hurt not "damaged".

• Damage: inflict physical harm on (something) so as to impair its value, usefulness, or normal function.

• Hurt: To cause mental or emotional suffering to; distress.

I wanted to make it completely distinct that I am hurt, but not damaged. My value is not impared by them because my value is not found in them. 

 

With all that being said, I want to say that I forgive them. Wholeheartedly forgive them. I do not hate them; I love them, but it took me a while to like them. Are you following what I'm saying? I love them from their brokenness, because if I'm completely honest I'm broken too. I'm not perfect and neither are they. But I didn't like that they didn't meet my "standards", or that they didn't meet my expectations on my "How to be a Perfect Parent 101" chart. Which in no way is a real thing even though I fully thought it was.

I harbored this bitterness towards them that always left a foul taste in my mouth even after I had a great day with them, or after they finally made it to see me do something that has meant so much to me. I eternally thought that they could have been doing better or that I wasn't good enough for them to want to be there; because in my "knowledge that surpasses all other knowledge" I thought it had to be one or the other. It was them OR me, but not both. I found my validation in their acceptance, their affection and everything in between. It took me a long time to understand that I am not defined by their time spend with me or how much they spend on me. I am defined by a King, my King!

Now that I found my value in more than an earthly standard I had to find forgiveness in more than an earthly standard. You know, that "If they beg for an apology I might accept it but I won't let them forget it. Ever. I mean, like, EVER." mentality. However, being a daughter of a King I had to think like one, "Now the law came in to increase the trespass, but where sin increased, grace abounded all the more" Romans 5:20. I needed to stop harboring bitterness (sinful instinct) and show grace upon them. After all, my Savior showed grace upon this sinful girl and I did much more to Him than not meet an insignificant standard.

I forgive them. I love them. And I chose grace over anger.

{ There is no greater joy than being able to forgive someone unconditionally. There is no greater peace than showing them grace. }

It's Your Grace [Sovereign Grace Music]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-81GGLGIfE

Matthew 5:14-15
"For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."