Becoming Me

I try not to write blogs that completely focus on myself, but this is a blog of not only to tell you who I am but hopefully to encourage you on your walk to find yourself!

 

I am Devon Timm and I am nineteen years old. As I put in some of my other blogs I spent a lot of time hating myself. My weight, my hair, my face, just everything. I heard a lot in church about how God made you how He wanted and if you say you hate yourself it's like a slap in His face. I didn't understand why it mattered if I liked myself or not, because to me I thought I could love others without loving myself. As cliché as it sounds, it is really hard to love others if you don't love yourself. One of God's commandments is "love your neighbor as yourself." Well, if I didn't love myself I have no idea how I was going to love someone else.

 

I spent years trying to change myself. I wore heavy makeup because I hated myself without it (to the point where I wouldn't leave the house without makeup on, even when I started working at the pool). I straightened my hair because I hated my curls (I wore my hair straight just about every day for five years). I developed an eating disorder because I was so obsessed with being skinny (it still haunts me to this day). I even wore extensions for five years (I never went without them, and they were a HASSLE!). In all of these things I still didn't like myself.

 

In January I started this blog with my "month long mirror / makeup free challenge". To tell you the truth, it was the first time I loved myself, because when I stopped being obsessed with sitting in the mirror I started thinking about who I was as a person. And I really liked that person. I focused on my traits instead of my face. It was the first glimpse of hope I felt for myself. I'm not saying that it was easy (because if I'm honest: it was really hard), I chose the month that I was starting new classes, new stresses and probably new dark circles.

 

I put out a status asking people to send their favorite verses from scripture and then I covered my mirror with it. It was so awesome because when I was doing my hair I had no choice but to read His word. Slowly became more comfortable in my own skin. I had a motto: I'm not seeing my own face so I don't have to worry about what I look like, I just need to worry about what I act like. So I started focusing on God's Word and the truth's that it tells me I am:

• His workmanship (Ephesians 2:10)
• Fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139)
• Transformed (Romans 12:2)
• Saved (Ephesians 2:8-9)
• Set free (Romans 6:18)

Because of those truth's I have been able to step out of my comfort zone and become me. Recently I said "goodbye" to my extensions (which I had awful anxiety about) and hello to my natural curl. I am applying to be a camp counselor where I won't see makeup for three months. I am learning to embrace myself, I am learning to love and I am learning who my God is.



 

-It's okay to fall in love with who you are-

 

 

More Beautiful You- Johnny Diaz

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r7UJE22Td9s

 

 

1 Peter 3:4

"But let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious."