The Bottom of This Valley

Have you ever had one of those weeks? You know, where everything that could go wrong does. That has been this past week for me. Between family, school and finals I feel like I'm in a valley. A spiritual and emotional drought of utter confusion and chaos. A "hallway week". I once heard a quote that said, "Until God opens the next door, praise Him in the hallway." In this time of deep valley's it's hard to keep focus on Him when we don't praise Him in the hallway. Because, if we're honest, it's easy to praise Him with open doors. When door's get shut and He says "No or not yet" often we immediately try and take control and forget to look up and say "I trust you, God".

I'm a planner. I pack and repack weeks in advance. I make and remake lists. I calculate. I carry a mom bag on all trips, just incase. However, I also do pretty well with going with the flow, but not when it comes to my plan. If I'm being honest, I'm a control freak. What I want my life to look like. I like to know how things are going to turn out in my life, and I rejoice hard during those times. When in reality, it's not my life! It's His. 

The past few months have been amazing, spiritually. I got to see one of my youth girls choose light over darkness, I also got to see one make a decision to be baptized. I have had blessing upon blessing poured out onto me these past few weeks, however, I didn't prepare myself for a downfall. I slowly started taking back control these last few weeks and re-planned out my next steps in my "Not so great in comparison of the Creator of the universe, life plan". My grandma said something today that really hit me, she said, "When things seem to be going smooth spiritually, put on that armor and be ready, because not long after Satan is going to hit hard." Well, isn't that the truth! Things all hit at once, within a week. Satan has bee. attacking at all sides, but I REFUSE to give him that victory. I'm way too stubborn to just give in.

Even though things aren't going as I had "planned", God is showing me so much in this desert that I'm in. He is showing me patience. Sometimes His answers are "not now", and when that is I need to understand that I need to, "Be still and know that I am God" Psalm 46:10. He is showing me trust. I may not know what He is doing, I need to fully allow Him to do whatever He wants with my life, "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding" Proverbs 3:5. He is showing me to let go of control. Even though I think that my plans are better than His, He has showed me time and time again that my plans don't amount to His plans for me, "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope... And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:11&13. He is showing me surrender. I can't follow out His Will if I'm grasping onto my own with both hands "As for God, His way is perfect; The word of the Lord is proven; He is a shield to all who trust in Him." Samuel 22:31.

He will not lead me somewhere He hasn't been. He has been faithful for nineteen years, and He will be faithful for the next nineteen and then some

 The Desert Song (acoustic)- Hillsong
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rJr0tBnloik

Deuteronomy 31:6"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you."