Tis' the Season, He's the Reason

Christmas, the best holiday of the year. Full of Christmas carols, figgy pudding, and family. My most favorite holiday of the year. However, this Christmas was, by far, the hardest Christmas I have had since my first Christmas without my dad. There was so much change, sadness and brokenness that I sat there and thought "So much for Christmas being the happiest time of year". It wasn't the Christmas that I always dream of, you know, the one with the light snow falling, deep laughter and the house being engulfed in the smell of cinnamon and pine needles. It, quite frankly, was the complete opposite.

As I was driving home I was overwhelmed with sadness and guilt. First, sadness because I didn't get to spend it with my parents, that hurt the most. Second, guilt because I caught myself in a downward spiral of jelousy and envy. I was jealous of my little sister, "She got to spend Christmas with both of her parents, grandparents and both sides of aunts and uncles. And I only have my grandparents and a few aunts and uncles. I didn't get to spend Christmas with my parents, it's not fair..." I was quickly overcome by guilt, because I knew it wasn't her fault. I cried the whole car ride home.

Before the day even got into full "Crazy Timm family Christmas" swing my grandpa said "Just like the Grinch, Satan comes to steal Christmas. He comes to steal our joy, and we can't let him do that." Halfway through dinner, I handed Satan my joy on a platter. Throughout the day I took my focus off Him and put them on me. I thought of all the things I didn't have, but someone else did, when I should have been thinking about all the things He has given me that I don't deserve.

I spent the day feeling as if I was owed something. I was owed a huge family, I was owed a perfect day, I was owed [instert selfish thing here], when in reality I was owed death, even death on a cross (Philippians 2:8). However Jesus took that punishment for me. He came to this earth, born as a baby, just to die for me. Someone who didn't deserve to be freed from all sins. Someone who, one day, will walk side by side with the most perfect parent there ever was.

But that day isn't today. However, today was a reminder. It was a reminder that family's aren't perfect. There is only one perfect family, and one day that will be sweeter than honey. And until that day I need to be covered in joy in all things, even if they're not the things I want.

Empty my Hands - Tenth Avenue North

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=51Qi8k9aDrg

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

"Be joyful always;

 pray continually;

 give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."